May kicks off Mental Health Awareness Month. Christy Buck, founder of BeNice.org, joins us to talk about how we can all be nice at home and at work. It’s more important now than ever! Listen today! Money, I’m Home!

 

[transcript]

00:06 Lynne Jarman-Johnson: Money, I’m Home. Welcome on in. I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson with Consumers Credit Union. Thank you so much for being with us today, from finance to fitness. It has been a really unique few weeks with us, hasn’t it? Where you’re just staying home, you’re staying safe, which is so important. Are you staying sane? Are you happy? Are you being positive? Well, you know what, today we have an expert who is gonna talk to us all about how we can continue to look on the bright side. Christy Buck is the executive director of the Mental Health Foundation. She’s also the founder of an organization that I think is the most cool name, and it’s called Be Nice. Welcome on in, Christy.

00:49 Christy Buck: Thank you so much for this opportunity. It’s great to be here today.

00:52 LJ: Looking across the future and thinking to yourself, “What’s gonna be next?” The fear that comes with that, and then just the overall happiness of being around the same people physically every single day and not used to what you’re used to. What have you been finding in the Mental Health Foundation?

01:13 CB: You’ve got it. What we’ve learned a lot from the pandemic is that, obviously, stress could have an effect on people’s mental health in how they’re thinking, acting, and feeling. And that’s what your mental health is, it’s very basic, and it’s not rocket science to understand that. So, by understanding mental health, we can understand that this can be affected by different things. So, go back to my definition, “how I’m thinking, acting and feeling” can be affected by things that are going on around me. And so, I have choices that I can make. Do I look at my glass as half empty, or do I try to fill it up every day with things that I can make me feel better? And so, that’s why I love Be Nice. I love the work that we do because we tend to focus on finding those things to help you cope through difficult situations.

02:05 LJ: When all of a sudden “Stay Safe, Stay Home” came into play, that really did change your organization quite a bit. You are a very in-person organization. You go to schools, companies, to really focus in on the campaign, the organization called Be Nice. But you know something? I think this is needed more now than ever, because the social negativity that’s out there is pretty darn scary.

02:36 CB: Yeah, it really is. And so, even for us as an organization, it really took quite a toll on us, Lynne. Suddenly, on March 17th, we are watching our organization having to work out of our houses, and our dates that were booked to be in schools, businesses, launching Be Nice Faith in the faith communities … a lot of great momentum, all of a sudden, it was at a standstill, for a moment. And that moment was at least 10 days. And the staff, we couldn’t even … We looked back, and we felt the effects. A lot of us weren’t getting dressed in the morning, and we … A few people weren’t familiar with Zoom at all, and that’s okay. So, as we worked through the difficulties, I found myself, as a leader of the organization, that I all of a sudden had to follow what I’ve preached all the time to other folks, and that’s following the Be Nice action plan.

03:29 LJ: Absolutely. What is that action plan?

03:32 CB: I love it because, obviously, the “Be” is to do what’s right, to be this, whatever. So, to “Be Nice” is “to notice, to invite, to challenge, and to empower.” And so, we look at the program and the model, the action plan, as a macro and a micro. So, in a macro world, that “notice, invite, challenge, empower,” is a tool of positivity, someone to notice the good, the right. Every day, I’m going to notice the good, the right, whether it be in my life, in people, in places, things that are happening all over. What’s the right, the good? And then I’m gonna invite myself to acknowledge those right goods. I’m gonna let people know, “You look great today.” I’m gonna let myself ask, “How are you?” Listen back. I’m gonna invite myself to write maybe three things down for myself at the end of the day that happened that really changed my life that day in a positive way. Sometimes it’s real hard to find those, but that’s the challenge. The C in “Nice” is challenge, challenge myself to do that, challenge myself to go out of my way, to try to be nice. And then ultimately, Lynne, and you know this, the charge, the joy you get out of empowering yourself to do those things.

04:44 CB: And, I honestly can say that when I leave a conversation and I just do the plan … I do, I can smile to myself on my way to my car and I can say, “You know what, that extra five minutes of checking up on that grocery clerk, that right now is making a difference in people’s lives by putting themselves at risk.” My neighbor, who’s a nurse, the five minutes that I took to yell over my fence to her, those things make a difference. So, that’s the macro. And then, Lynne, when you get to the micro of Be Nice, that’s where the plan is notice what is good, what is right, but now I’m gonna notice what is different. And this is where it gets really heavy, and this is where we’re talking about suicide prevention, and this is where I may be the first person that notices a difference in someone’s behavior. I need to invite myself to have a conversation with that person. Maybe I don’t know them that well. Yesterday, we were at a Zoom meeting with my youth group, and I noticed something, and I reached out to the parents. I let them know what I had noticed.

05:49 CB: Now, am I like, “Mrs. Kravitz?” No. Am I noticing you? Right?

[laughter]

05:50 LJ: I was just going to ask you that.

05:52 CB: No. You’re just letting someone know. There could have been something situational that day. It could be something that a parent is missing right now. It could be that a spouse is missing that right now, like, “Wow, I’m concerned about Lynne. What’s going on lately, Rob?” It doesn’t take that much, but it could be the first time that somebody is actually noticing. So, the third step would be the challenge. I might have invited myself to have a conversation with them, or a loved one, and then maybe actually me giving these resources to someone, me giving them some helpline phone numbers that are out there right now, me actually encouraging them to seek out treatment, possibly me having to make a phone call to my buddy, Christy Buck, to find out, “Hey, do you know any names of some good clinicians out there right now?” Just good stuff.

06:40 CB: And then ultimately, Lynne, empower. And, that means I’m empowering someone with my love and support, and again, I’m feeling good about it too. There is nothing better than saving lives. You know what I mean? It’s crazy. But people say to me, “How can you save a life? That’d be nice.” Well, it’s the plan. I love what we do, I try to take it serious, I try to remain positive, I try to get on to Facebook and look at things that you post, cause it’s all positivity, there’s not ever a negative. So, that’s the plan.

07:16 LJ: Well, you mentioned that, Christy, but I do think that that is a choice. It’s very easy, especially for those who do Twitter or for those who start to go that back and forth negativity on Facebook, on comments, because you don’t agree with someone. It’s okay to not agree with someone. I don’t think it’s okay to be rude and mean about it. That’s me personally.

07:43 CB: We have the choices on social media to anything. Especially right now at such a hard time for everyone, keep yourself away from the comment area, the like [07:56] ____, I know I do that a lot …

08:00 LJ: You walk away.

08:00 CB: You gotta walk away. And also, when somebody wants to be a friend, I’m gonna check them out, I do. There’s someone out there that’s festering negativity, you gotta be careful. And, I like to try to make comments on people that might be feeling down. I wanna make sure that people know where to get help. That’s the biggest thing right now is … One of the biggest sources of help right now, Lynne, is being around people that are positive, finding the good and right in people, finding people that know the good and the right in me, and sticking to hanging around with those friends right now. And hanging around with people means social media. That’s how we hang around with people, let’s be honest.

08:44 LJ: When everything gets back to normal, and we know that it might never get back to the normal that we used to know, but when you are able to go and connect, or even how you’re connecting now, how is it that the Be Nice campaign can get into companies, can get into schools, can get into more faith organizations?

09:04 CB: It’s so cool. We have … We just launched Be Nice Business. What this is is very similar to our school program, and that is, is you get into the culture of the company. You have a liaison or two, typically would be two, that are going to be the project managers. And they’re called Champions, Ambassadors, whatever you want. And then they come through …

09:26 LJ: And they’re from … Volunteers from …

09:28 CB: No, they are …

09:28 LJ: Be Nice or from the company?

09:29 CB: Within the company.

09:32 LJ: Wow, okay.

09:32 CB: Cause now the research is showing that in order to bake something into a company … And Be Nice is going to be baked in, that’s our philosophy, we’re going to bake it into the culture of the macro and that micro, like I was just saying. So, it’s a geeky Be Nice, and it’s a heavy duty Be Nice. [chuckle] And actually … Yeah, Cascade Engineering, it was funny, they’re one of our partner companies, and they made me see that, that it’s macro and micro. And I’m going, “Okay, I got to write this all down, cause that’s what it is.” [laughter] And I like it that way, sort of like high-end terms. So, when you bake it in the culture, it’s baked in by other employees. It’s baked in by your leadership, it’s baked in by the higher administrators of a company that are going to say, “We’re going to bake in this philosophy.”

10:17 CB: And then what happens is it just transcends out to the rest of the employees, and there’s a greater understanding. So, it’s a plan, it’s an action plan. It’s treating people with respect, with dignity, with civility, with inclusion, but then it’s more than that. It’s having a greater understanding that every day I can have an effect on someone’s mental health, but then in addition, I can recognize the onset of when somebody might be struggling with how they’re thinking, acting, and feeling. With the business program, you get training all year long, you get help and support. You can bring us in for a webinar, so now we’re going into … We’ve learned the method. And it’s cool, Lynne, because we’ve been doing this for a while in the way of training, but now it’s here. We can do it. We know how to quickly sit down in front of a computer and do a training. I know how to bring a PowerPoint up. So, that’s going to happen.

11:09 CB: And then the second year, because our evidence-based researched up in Grand Valley, they did this, it showed that the first year is the first round of baking. But to bake it in, it’s got to be two, three, four, five years, and those are the successes behind the program. That’s how it is with businesses, so the second year is more a subscription, so now you’re a member. Kind of similar, I’m a member of the Chamber of Commerce, but here it would be I’m a member of Be Nice. Same with faith organizations. This month, Christ Memorial Church is one of our lead churches, and they’re out in Holland. They are starting this Sunday a mental health series for Mental Health Month. And so, from the pulpit, Pastor Dave Van Opstall will be speaking about the action plan. And he will be reflecting back on the 23rd Psalm, that’s really super cool, and how in that it’s always used for death, but really the 23rd Psalm is about hope and who’s there for me. It’s really cool, Lynne. And I could go all religious right now on you, but I believe … [laughter] I do. I love it.

12:20 CB: Schools, Lynne, they’re going really well, we would love Consumers Credit Union to be a partner with us. Being here today, I could definitely see it. They hold enough of my loans right now, so I might have as well knock on their door.

12:34 LJ: Thank you, Christy, thanks for being a member. Thank you.

12:37 CB: I know. I love it.

[laughter]

12:40 LJ: If someone right now is listening and they’re feeling fear, to just even think about going back into a normal side-by-side seating area with someone, if they’re feeling a little bit stressful, what is it that we can do to make sure that we are noticing and then providing that incitement for them?

13:04 CB: I think, a lot of folks, you need to have plans in place what you’re going to be doing for the return of the angst and the anxiety that could be happening for employees, making sure that they’re understanding what they’re going to be confronted with when they come back. We might have masks, we might have different policies. So, giving everybody a heads up. We, as an organization, are working on that right now. We are not as big as Consumers or other companies out there, but still, you have to provide your employees a safe environment, and that means health, safety, but also psychologically safe. So, having a greater understanding that as a company, we’re going to embrace everybody coming back, and we’re also going to acknowledge that our mental health could now be affected by what’s going on by right now. And, really start at the basics. One thing would be reach out and connect with us. You could be ready to go with Be Nice coming back, noticing each other, the good, the right, and notice the difference.

14:00 CB: I would also have resources available to folks. Many times, employees aren’t even aware that you have an EAP program, and sometimes at the bottom of the list of benefits that an employee might not even realize that, “This is something I can access for free?” They’re really good, and a lot of companies are partners with EAP programs.

14:21 LJ: And, Christy, when you say EAP, I think immediately people who do not know what that even means or stands for.

14:29 CB: Employee Assistance Programs are provided by … I’ll name a few. You’ve got Pine Rest has an employee assistance program, Mosaic Counseling, the Employee Assistance Center. If you Google “Employee Assistance Programs,” these are an extended benefit that can be part of a benefit package. And these are typically paid for by per employee, and it’s like dental, it’s like health insurance, it’s just another benny that you can give to your employees to say, “We care about you.” And nowadays, Lynne, right now, everybody is moving to telehealth. There’s help for people to get counseling right now, there is. And ultimately, Lynne, my job, it is suicide prevention. And I hope that we’re not going to see this, but typically, with epidemics of such, you’re going to see a spike in people taking their life, and that’s unacceptable when we know that there’s help in treatment.

15:28 CB: But, we got to use the plan, “notice, invite, challenge, empower,” so I can get someone help, I can let that person know that help is available. I don’t want it to get to that point … I had a conversation with the Governor the other day, on a podcast, and I mentioned to the Governor that, “This is typically what happens,” and what is our plan for this next round of health concerns, and that would be mental health. Because we do not want suicide to outnumber deaths from the COVID. And I’ll be honest with you, that 47 deaths by suicide per year in the United States, okay, that’s how many? And if you’re looking if it’s going to go up, potentially at 30%, 33 they say … that’s not acceptable.

16:16 LJ: Absolutely. Well, Christie, thank you so much for your passion and your concern and care, but mostly your expertise in helping us all “be nice.” We really appreciate your time today.

16:28 CB: Lynne, thank you so much. We always say, “It’s not rocket science.” It really isn’t. It’s for a layperson to understand that you too can understand mental health, mental illness, and ultimately prevent suicide.

16:42 LJ: Thank you, Christy. Money, I’m Home. I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson. And thank you so much, Jake Esselink, for your production skills, we sure do appreciate it. And I’ll tell you what, listen in on next week, we got other great content for you. But you know what, if you have someone that you’d like us to talk to, please send them our way. We would like to keep streaming these wonderful community treasures that we have of people who are making a difference and also helping us succeed during “Stay Safe, Stay Home.” I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson, have a wonderful week.

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