Adam Leavesley joins us for a special Father’s Day edition of “Money, I’m Home!” In Finance and Parenthood, Adam and Lynne discuss the importance of budgeting with a family, planning for comfort and more!

 

Transcript:

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00:06 Lynne Jarman-Jonson: Money, I’m home. It’s that time again. And we welcome you into Consumers Credit Union podcast. I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson. Today we have a great topic and a great conversation. We’re going to talk with a new dad. We’re going to talk a little bit about the stresses that come with parenthood, raising the kids, and then looking at the financial future, not only of your child or children but also in the household. Joining us today is Adam Leavesley, and Adam is our Regional Vice President in the Grand Rapids market. Adam, welcome in.

 

00:40 Adam Leavesley: Oh, thanks Lynne, thanks for having me.

 

00:41 LJJ: Well, first of, congratulations, you know what, you’re really going into it whole hog. You’ve got a brand-new baby.

 

00:49 AL: Yes.

 

00:49 LJJ: Well, she’s a little bit older now, but…

 

00:51 AL: She’s two.

 

00:52 LJJ: She’s two already?

 

00:53 AL: I know, it’s crazy how time… People always tell you that. Don’t blink your eyes, they’re going to… Everything’s going to change here in a second. Don’t miss a moment. And they’re not kidding because I was gone for four days and I swear she has increased her vocabulary 1000 times.

 

01:08 LJJ: That’s crazy, isn’t it?

 

01:09 AL: Yeah, it’s awesome.

 

01:10 LJJ: Isn’t it? So tell us a little bit about your background, and let’s find out about you because I really do want to dig in a little bit personally, if that’s okay, because there’s so many people who are starting their families, getting their homes. And our podcast really focuses in on trying to help people with those questions that pop in in the middle of the night. You wake up and go, “Ah?”

 

01:34 AL: I have an interesting background. Can I start? I grew up in Northern Michigan, in Alpena. So if anybody knows where that is, I would point to my hand on the map…

 

01:41 LJJ: Here it is. Here it is.

 

01:42 AL: But, you won’t be able to see it. Went to school at CMU, and actually, one of the interesting things that I think always intrigues people is I actually went to school for family psychology, which actually doesn’t have anything to do with finance, but…

 

01:55 LJJ: I think we’re finding out that it sure does.

 

[chuckle]

 

01:58 AL: You weren’t kidding. If anybody knew how many times I’ve been asked to counsel a member on things that were other than finance, it happens quite a bit and… But it’s a wonderful thing and skill to have. So I met my wife in college, and we actually both ended up moving over here to Grand Rapids, because that was where she was from. I started my banking career with Chase Bank. I got a great experience, but quickly found out that it probably wasn’t long term the right place for me, and I just continually got smaller through my career where I finally landed at my home in the place I love, Consumers Credit Union. And, yeah, so once we kind of had that stability a big thing for us and a big thing that I learned through my schooling was how important it was to have a strong financial structure in place before you started a family.

 

02:49 AL: And so we waited quite a while. We waited four years after we were married. We would have loved to have had kids even sooner, but we wanted to make sure that we weren’t going to have a lot of those stresses. We ended up having our daughter two years ago on November 29th of this year, and she is the light of both of our lives, and yeah, but there are so many things to consider.

 

03:12 LJJ: Well, what happened… You set the stage, right? Okay, so Rob and I, my husband and I, we had six kids, and we were never going to have children until after he graduated from law school, and he graduated on a Saturday and we had our second daughter on Tuesday.

 

[chuckle]

 

03:31 LJJ: So that planning went really well.

 

03:34 AL: Yes.

 

03:34 LJJ: But when you look at how you did plan and now what surprises you the most about the fact that there’s so many things that happen that you just didn’t expect?

 

03:46 AL: I would say one of the biggest things is how easy it is to lose track of your spending when you have a child, because there’s just so many things that come up. We were always very good at tracking everything. And by the time you start getting into diapers, and then toys, and then outfits, and clothes. Daycare, a huge expense that you’ve always heard is expensive, but really the impact that makes to a monthly budget is astounding. I don’t think I fully understood how much that was going to change the way that we were going to have to budget things out.

 

04:18 LJJ: Do you wake up at night or are you pretty excited about the fact that, “Look it, we’ve got this.”

 

04:26 AL: No, thankfully, Addie sleeps through the night.

 

[laughter]

 

04:30 LJJ: Yeah.

 

04:31 AL: Yeah, until just about recently, but we’re working through that right now. It just takes a couple of times in there, and a couple of pats on the back. But no really, I think the key was is that we went into this with… We had set up a savings account.

 

04:44 LJJ: Eyes wide open.

 

04:45 AL: Yeah, and we knew that there was going to be increased expense, but if we were going to take on more, we had a plan for how we would do that and how we pay for a furnace if it broke down, how we would pay for a car deductible if we got in an accident, that was all set there.

 

05:02 LJJ: I love the fact you keep saying “we”. How important is the “we” in the relationship when you’re talking about all of the things that are new to you.

 

05:13 AL: The “we”, not only from a relationship standpoint, but just… I couldn’t do it without my wife. I took my daughter to Meijer the other day, one of the… Occasionally, we do our little daddy-daughter trips and…

 

05:26 LJJ: Did you ride Sandy?

 

05:27 AL: Of course, we don’t miss Sandy, and trust me, if I try to go out without getting her on Sandy.

 

05:32 LJJ: Not happening.

 

05:33 AL: There’s a potential nightmare moment that happens. But, we stopped at Ben’s Soft Pretzels. I got her this little thing of icing. And I was trying to take a picture really quick to show my wife like, “Hey, I did it, like we’re even eating food.” And sure enough in that two-second period, she managed to dump the entire thing of icing all over herself. I have a picture and if you could see the look in her eyes, she knew she was going to do that. We cleaned it up as best I could, got her home. My wife wasn’t super excited.

 

06:02 LJJ: Adam, you know, all I got to say to you, is you better be careful. You can tell already.

 

[laughter]

 

06:09 AL: But I couldn’t do it without her. All the things that she does every day between… She’s got a schedule. The baths are ready, the bedtime stories we’re getting into. She keeps me on track, and my little girl loves her more than anything in the world, and when I see that, I don’t think there’s anything more special.

 

06:31 LJJ: That’s amazing. When you look at the future, you mentioned daycare, so one of the things that you look at is “Okay, we hear the horror stories of education. We hear the horror stories of how much it costs to continue your education.” Is that something that you’re already thinking about?

 

06:50 AL: You betcha. We’ve talked a lot about setting up a 529 plan and what is college going to look like for Addie? Because that landscape is changing so rapidly. We’ve decided the best thing that we can do is set aside money for her education, and when she gets closer to that time, 15-16-17 years old and has more of an idea, there will be money there and she will be able to spend it in whatever way makes sense for her. So if she decides that she doesn’t want to go to a four-year college, she can go become a welder. I think that’s awesome. And who knows how things are going to change in the next 15, 20 years. So yes, very much was planning and setting money aside; it was a big priority for us.

 

07:36 LJJ: What do you think are the top three aha moments that you could share with new parents or people who are considering having that first child?

 

07:48 AL: Oh my gosh. Number one, I think, for me, for a shocker was the cost of day care, in planning for that because for most of you, it will be a mortgage payment every month. And you have… And that’s just astounding to me. Number two: How much just all the little things cost and add up. Between diapers and if you have formula, clothes, all those…

 

08:13 LJJ: So whatever your budget, double.

 

08:14 AL: Yeah, you’ll never have as much as what you thought you were going to have, especially at the end of the month. And the third thing is something that I’ve gotten a lot of advice and from a relationship standpoint, never stop dating your wife. Make time for each other, and that is harder than you would think, as much as we love each other. Your daughter is going to instantly become first in every way, and you have to be willing to work together to find that time for each other. And it’ll strengthen your ability and it’ll make the time you spend with your daughter that much more beneficial.

 

08:55 LJJ: Sounds to me like you have this pretty wrapped up, Adam.

 

09:00 AL: I do not at all.

 

[laughter]

 

09:01 AL: But I’m on a good salesman.

 

[laughter]

 

09:07 LJJ: What do you think as you go along and move forward, do things like the type of car that you drive, the… Are those all changes? I remember in the long run, we had to get a suburban.

 

09:24 AL: Yes.

 

09:24 LJJ: That thing was costly, the gas was costly. And are those things that you have already taken into forethought?

 

09:34 AL: Oh my gosh, yeah, we actually just talked about that the other day. At some point, obviously, I think it would be our plan to have another child, and fitting two of them in a Kia Sorrento in a tight garage is not super easy. So I’ve asked Shelby what kind of vehicle she’s going to want. It’s funny, she mentioned that same vehicle. She’s really into that Tahoe, Yukon situation, and I looked up the MSRP on those and I wasn’t as excited when I saw that.

 

[laughter]

 

10:02 LJJ: Their expensive.

 

10:04 AL: I think we might try to do a… widen the Sorrento somehow. But yeah, I would say all those things do come into effect because it is important and it’s mainly important for just one, the safety of her and the children in a bigger vehicle, and two, just the ease. because sometimes you get home and your kid’s screaming because she wants her fourth Go-gee which she should not have a fourth Go-gee, but sometimes you submit.

 

10:31 LJJ: I think that’s Gogurt, like yogurt?

 

10:35 AL: She calls them Go-gees.

 

10:36 LJJ: Go-gees. I love it. Okay.

 

10:39 AL: So I get her her Go-gees, but it’s sometimes just having that bigger vehicle, or those things that make your life just a little easier and take some of that stress away are huge and important, and you’ve got to budget for them?

 

10:52 LJJ: Finally, communication.

 

10:54 AL: Yes.

 

10:55 LJJ: Planning around your days, all of a sudden a child is sick. All of the things that happen in your life, that then can interrupt how you work, what you do. How important is the communication?

 

11:11 AL: That’s massive and I almost wish I would have mentioned that in one of the three, aha moments.

 

11:17 LJJ: Okay, it’s number one A.

 

11:17 AL: Yeah, it’s one A.

 

11:20 AL: I didn’t expect what that would mean for two working parents that both have positions in which they really need to be present. And so how do you have those back-up caregivers, the mom and we have working grandparents. So, you don’t maybe have that to fall back on. You’re paying for daycare no matter what, whether they go there or not, and now you’ve got to pay someone to come to the house for another $75, how do you budget for that. And so the communication between me and my wife, we have always… I’ve always been a big person on being fair. And so we try to do as much 50-50 as we can. So a lot of times if Addie is sick, I may stay… I’ll look at my schedule, and I will say, “Hey, some of these things I could do from home. I’ll stay home in the morning, and then you come relieve me in the afternoon when I have to go to appointments that I have to be in person.” That was a big adjustment, but doing it that way, I think has empowered both of us a little bit. So, it isn’t just one of us always making that decision. We make it together and we just figure it out.

 

12:21 LJJ: How shocked were you? All of a sudden it sounds to me like you waited a while, so that then becomes your relationship is a relationship built on two.

 

12:30 AL: Yes.

 

12:30 LJJ: And then, oh my goodness, what a change.

 

12:35 AL: Oh, you aren’t kidding. I think that was probably the most shocking because not only was Porter upset, who is our cockapoo because he got bumped down the line.

 

12:44 LJJ: Okay, wait a minute, you did have three.

 

[laughter]

 

12:46 AL: Yeah, we did have another child… But I think it renewed my understanding of how important it was for me and Shelby and not only to wait financially, but we were together a long time before we got married, and a big part of everything was, I wanted to see how she was when she got into her career, how was that going to affect her life and our relationship. When she went through a really hard time maybe somebody passed away or something like… Those moments where they figuratively change your life forever. And I think spending as much time as we could prior that made it so that we could continue to keep that bond strong as we became parents. Most important job we’ll ever have in life.

 

13:35 LJJ: And there was no handbook.

 

13:36 AL: And there was no handbook.

 

13:39 LJJ: Isn’t that funny.

 

13:39 AL: I know. There is sleep training books though, and I highly recommend those. They’re amazing and they work.

 

13:45 LJJ: For you or for the child?

 

[laughter]

 

13:47 AL: For the child.

 

13:51 LJJ: Well, this has been an amazing conversation.

 

13:54 AL: Thank you.

 

13:54 LJJ: Congrats on really setting the tone for how you’re living your life, and we also appreciate the fact that, as you just said, you know what, members come in all the time with questions that it might not feel financial, but it’s really important to discuss how do you get to the next level.

 

14:17 AL: And one of the things I love about this team, I love about everybody here at Consumers Credit Union is our members are family and when they’re going through life’s moments, sometimes they’re there for you, and sometimes you’re there for them. And I think that relationship and that partnership between all of us is one of the things that just makes it so special.

 

14:40 LJJ: Well, thank you for taking time out of your day, Adam, we really appreciate it. Money, I’m home. Let’s bring the money home to you for Consumers Credit Union.

 

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