CEO of the Mental Health Foundation and advocate for the be nice. program, Christy Buck joins Lynne to discuss how the holiday season may impact people’s mental health.

 

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0:00:06.5 Lynne Jarman-Johnson: Money, I’m Home. Welcome in, everyone. I’m Lynne Jarman Johnson with Consumers Credit Union. From finance to fitness, we do have it all. And today we have a very special edition. I love having special editions. Why? Because it introduces you to people in the community that are doing great things. And right now, we’re focusing on something that’s going on right now in your life. And that might be some stress because it is the holiday season. Christy Buck is the executive director, CEO of the Mental Health Foundation. And you might have heard of her when we say the words, “be nice.” Christy, thanks so much for being with us today.

0:00:43.5 Christy Buck: Lynne, as always, thank you so much for the opportunity.

0:00:47.6 LJJ: Okay, I can tell you this. It is the holiday season. I know parties have started great to galore. Everybody’s getting together. But I’ll tell you, this is also a time, and you have brought this to my attention so many times, that, Lynne, there’s a time where we have to pause and find out what’s going on with the people around us. Tell us a little bit about your organization and why this time of year is so important to be nice.

0:01:12.3 CB: Our mission is to make sure that people are educated surrounding mental health, mental illness, and ultimately preventing suicide. We know that suicide can be an end result of an untreated mental health disorder, or also an end result of people not knowing, or having the ability, to combat a possible frustrating situation and not having a solution. So, what makes us so unique and different from any other organizations is that we have an action plan. And like CPR is an action plan to save a life for cardiac arrest, be nice. N-I-C-E is an action plan, is a tool to use and put into place when I am concerned with someone’s mental health, potentially the onset of a mental illness or someone who may be in a distressful situation.

0:02:06.2 LJJ: We’re going to get to that acronym in a minute. Why this time of year? There’s so much joy that people talk about, but yet this really can become a cycle where the drain is there, and people are circling it and all of a sudden things just become too much.

0:02:22.9 CB: Exactly. And holiday blues, the big thing about holiday blues, and it’s really used a lot to describe what people might be experiencing at this time of year, it’s different from a mental illness. But these are short-term mental health problems. And these may be people that are struggling with loneliness. They’re struggling with financial situations that they may be in, and that pressure of spending money right now, this time of year. Also in addition, it’s people who may be out there who are struggling in general with sadness. Oftentimes at this time of year, we miss individuals. It could be the certain time of year it’s the first Christmas without someone. It’s oftentimes when we’re reminiscing about the past. And in addition, stress. I can’t believe we’re already through Thanksgiving and we’re already into December and you turn the TV on and it’s the countdown for the holidays. And you always feel, at least I know I do, Lynne, I feel like I’m one step behind. So, the crunch of pressure at the holidays.

0:03:35.3 LJJ: You just mentioned television or media and social media. And you have this look of everything is perfect in everybody’s lives. And it’s just not true.

0:03:44.5 CB: It’s not true at all. And that’s where we’re going to do some tips of what I can do for myself right now to make sure that I’m focused on the necessary needs and the things I need to get done. Focusing on those who are very important to me right now, because it’s also that time of year to be grateful for the things that we do have in our life. And I’ll be honest with you, the buzzword for 2024, it’s going to be gratitude, grateful. Resiliency was a big word right now. It still will continue to be resilient. But I think gratitude is huge.

0:04:24.2 LJJ: I love that, Christy. And it’s so true to wake up. I’ve heard of people now starting gratitude journals where it’s not just a here’s what I’m going to do today. It is what am I grateful for first thing in the morning or as you go to sleep at night.

0:04:38.3 CB: Amen, and now there’s science behind it, okay? And when things are scientifically researched, which I think we’ve known this all along, now we know that one act of kindness can increase your happiness by 10%. It can decrease depression by 35%. There’s some great stats out there right now, but I think the basics of it are going to bed at night with a list of great things that just occurred all day long. Because sometimes we go to bed at night, think about what’s to come, as opposed to looking back on what are those good things that happened. And I also want to mention words like journaling, sometimes they’re a little bit intimidating. Aren’t they?

0:05:25.9 LJJ: Yeah, absolutely. Do I even have time? Here’s another thing I need to do.

0:05:32.1 CB: Exactly. And oftentimes I’m a little bit envious of those who journal. One of my daughters journals and I’m just going, I can’t even get going.

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0:05:43.2 CB: I can’t even go pick out the cute journal at Barnes and Noble because I know I’ll miss a day. But I think one thing you can do, just have a notepad by your bed, or even sticky notes, put one thing that you were grateful for during that day to day that one precious moment of that. Maybe that one person that said, “Hello. How are you doing?” The one person that may have come out of their way and said, “You look great today. Thanks much for doing what you did for me.” Just one thing and then stick it into a container, go find a bowl and hold that piece of paper up and stick it in there. And then all of a sudden, go back and pull out of there when you can’t think of something. But it’s less pressure. And I think oftentimes we put so much pressure on ourselves, again, even with something like journaling. Try to remove the pressure as much as we can.

0:06:34.4 LJJ: I like what you say about that whole concept of looking ahead and you see this date looming. Whatever you’re celebrating this wonderful season, the date moves. And there’s a lot of people in my life that have now stopped and said what, “Why don’t we move something to January?” We’re still celebrating each other, our lives, our traditions, but there’s so much going on, it will be much more relaxing.

0:07:03.9 CB: Amen and again there’s plenty of people out there—you’re not the only person you are not alone in these feelings and that’s often times people feel like they’re alone or they’re embarrassed to bring something up that may say people can’t don’t think I can handle it. Being honest for myself, personally, I just was together as family over the weekend. And I’m making a date right now when everybody’s going come over just stop by and I want you to put the ornaments on the tree. There’s a lot that goes behind that for me personally. It’s, I’m a very sentimental person and I have a hard time at the holidays. I do miss plenty of people that aren’t around anymore or family that doesn’t live in the area for me. So, I want my kids to help out. I want them to be able to still be part of our family traditions and take that pressure off me. It’s just and it’s become a tradition now. I needed to let go of how I put the ornaments on the tree, but it felt really good after I finally just eased up and finding things that I can let go of. But we do, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves at this time of year. And then there are so many things that come along at this time of the year of costing money. And it’s not only gifts, it’s some of our bills are higher now. Suddenly we’re getting socked with that higher gas, electricity bill, right. They’re not going away. Could be for some folks taxes. So again, try to maintain that budget and keep within your budget.

0:08:42.8 LJJ: You can head to Consumers Credit Union. Our website is full of information on budgeting. We have a wonderful, even classes that you can take and download. So that’s a great idea, Christy.

0:08:55.5 CB: Maybe it’s not going to happen this year. And you know what? There’s always great things to save to do next year. But learning right now, what are those little things I can put into place right now? Now, again, Lynne, at the end of the day, high five yourself. And be gracious to yourself for those things that maybe you got accomplished today. So maybe it was, I got my kitchen organized so I can get my ornaments out and get them on the counters, whatever, right?

0:09:26.4 LJJ: Whatever it is.

0:09:27.0 CB: But give yourself a little grace and high five yourself.

0:09:32.3 LJJ: Okay, let’s hear about be nice. Tell us about the acronym and what it means and how can people contact you, Christy?

0:09:36.4 CB: You got it. So, the website is benice.org and we have the ability right on our front page, click on where it says take the pledge. And take the pledge is not about money. Taking the pledge for be nice is going on the website and learning the action plan. In 12 minutes, you can learn it. And the action plan is to notice, to invite, to challenge and to empower. So, the first step is one of my faves. Noticing the good, the right. It’s creating positivity. It’s having gratitude. So, then I can invite myself to recognize that in others and in myself. Now I’m going to flip to the micro of be nice. And this is where it turns into the action plan to recognize the onset of a change in someone’s behavior. Notice the good, the right, so I can notice the difference.

0:10:26.8 CB: I know the good, the right about Lynne. But you know what? Things are different. They are not the same. Or Lynne is not the same person. I wonder what’s going on. Geez! Then I’m going to look and I’m going to think about risk factors. Risk factors are changes in my life, people moving, me moving, losing my job, a death of a loved one. Certain things can put me at risk that my behavior has changed. So now I’m going to invite myself. I’m going to really get in this. I’m going to go reach out and say, “Is everything okay? I’m worried about you right now. What is going on? Can I help you with anything?” And that stimulates that conversation that is so necessary for someone to feel, “I’m not alone in this,” and so that’s that challenge is challenging that person potentially with some resources that maybe I know of that they don’t know.

0:11:24.8 LJJ: Well, I’ll tell you what we’re going to keep posted with you throughout the year Christy you’ve been a wonderful partner with us. Really quickly, I do know that we’re excited to partner for an event that is in January. You guys are tackling what is one of the most fun events that we have in West Michigan.

0:11:43.5 CB: We do. January 27th, the Mental Health Foundation, be nice, purchased the Kids and Family Expo. And our main goal, it’s not a fundraiser, it’s a fun event. Raising fun. And so, there’s going to be a lot of different things that you can do. So, it’s going to be the petting zoo and we’re going to have blow-up things. We’re going have books read by people that have written amazing books for kids, Lynne, JJ.

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0:12:11.7 LJJ: Thank you Christy.

0:12:14.3 CB: Every hour, on the hour, we’re going to have a cake walk. So, there will be prizes available to folks that win the cake. Thank you to Nothing Bundt Cakes. And then there’s also going to be a resource booth. And the resources would be, there will be some providers of mental health there to be able to pass out information. We’ve got some pediatric dentists, orthodontists. They’re going to be there to share more information about their specialty, which is kids. So, it’s for kids, but it’s for families. There will be tickets available on our website. And then, in addition, we are going to be distributing tickets to many of our elementary schools that we do be nice with. If anybody is interested and potentially want to be there, to be a sponsor, or an exhibitor please go to our website and connect with the expo. But then in addition, you know what? If you’re listening today and you would love to experience this with some free tickets, please feel more than welcome to go through our website and let us know.

0:13:21.7 LJJ: Alright. Well, Christy, you’re always there to bring the fun. So, I can’t thank you enough for today.

0:13:28.1 CB: Thanks, Lynne, so much. And everybody, have a great, great Christmas. And from me to y’all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

0:13:36.4 LJJ: Yes, happy holidays to everybody. Whatever you are celebrating, we are celebrating with you. And I just want to give everybody the number one tip for this season, and that is be nice, which we just heard. Please be safe and make sure that you help others stay safe as well. I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson with Consumers Credit Union. Thank you so much, Jake Esselink, for your production skills all year long. We’re coming to the end of the year, and boy, do we have plans for 2024.

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