The stigma around talking about mental health is waning. Join us for this week’s edition of Money, I’m Home as Lynne is joined by Christy Buck, executive director of the Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan to talk about the importance of open, honest conversations as we all work to lead happy, healthy lives.

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0:00:06.8 Lynne Jarman-Johnson (LJ): Money, I’m home. Welcome in everyone. I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson with Consumers Credit Union. Joining us today, we’re going to talk about a subject that I think many people have been talking about, whether they’re at work or at home, maybe, or around the dinner table and that is, what’s going on with stress and anxiety in your life. We kept thinking, okay, this pandemic is going to go and we’re going to be able to get right back into life the way that we knew it, but what has ended up happening is a lot of questions about when are we really going to get back to work and what’s my policy at work and what am I supposed to do if I find out somebody has COVID? Well, you know what, we’re not going to talk today about the health issues, except about the health issues that are so lingering which is the mental health issues. And our expert joining us today is Christy Buck, and Christy is the executive director of the Mental Health Foundation. She’s also really the founder and coordinator of what we call Be Nice.

0:01:03.1 LJJ: Christy, if you don’t mind, I’m going to mention something quick about a book that I am reading right now from Brad Stulberg, and it’s… He’s the author of The Practice of Groundedness. And what he talks about is saying that people are feeling more fatigued than usual, not necessarily sad or depressed, but alone and exhausted. And that Google searches right now that the number one question that’s been asked over and over again is, why am I tired all the time? And he goes on to talk about the fact that there is a real physical reason for this and that is the anxiety of not knowing what’s going on and the social exhaustion of anger that just seems to be permeating our social medias and conversations that we might be having that are difficult to have. Christy, thank you so much for joining us. A very important topic, and I just want to dig right in. Have you been finding, especially with everything that you’re doing, not only in schools but in companies, that this anxiety, this feeling of not quite knowing what to do is just getting deeper and deeper?

0:02:13.1 Christy Buck (CB): Definitely. Obviously, we are facing many challenges now and over the past 18 months and when we are facing challenges, oftentimes, our immediate responses are anger, frustration. Anxiety is extremely common for many people and that’s not just generalized anxiety that you’d say that I’m going to get diagnosed with the illness called anxiety, but just those anxious feelings of looking way too far ahead as opposed to living in the moment and finding that purpose for right now. So, there’s some really good reads out there, Lynne, and also in addition, there’s a lot of great apps out there that people can put on their phone. I hear about these constantly. I’ve never done one personally myself. I’m looking possibly to do one but practicing meditation, mindfulness, and working through some of this angst, fear, resentment, anger, in a good way, in a good coping way.

0:03:16.0 LJJ: Well, it’s interesting because I think that the pandemic definitely put mental health on the map in the sense of saying it’s okay to talk about. I was in an HR panel presentation the other day and one of the deepest conversations that was held was: It’s okay to talk about feelings at work and Christy, you’ve been saying that over and over again.

0:03:39.1 CB: Yeah, for a long time. I mean, we know that you’ve got to find someone to talk to. We know that people do want to listen. The hesitance often was embarrassment, shame, that people are going to think I’m sappy, people are going to think I’m crazy, people are going to think I can’t handle work, I can’t handle the pressure. I’m going to lose my job. Well, I love that right now we finally are taking mental health seriously, right? That overarching, that our mentality is huge. And mental health, Lynne, it’s real basic. It’s how I’m thinking, how I’m acting and how I’m feeling. It’s so amazing that mental health is that simple. Our programming defines it just like that to kindergarteners all the way up to one of our corporate partners, Herman Miller. Mental health needs to be talked about but then, Lynne, then it becomes serious as at what point is my mental health now beginning to affect how I’m going to work or school, how I’m carrying out my daily activities and engaging in satisfying relationships.

0:04:43.3 CB: Now you jump to, I don’t want to go to work or I don’t want to go to school. I can’t get things done around my house. I can’t focus on my job. I can’t put my screen on when I’m on a Zoom meeting anymore. I can’t get to places on time. I’m confused. All these things. Or I can’t take care of my kids. There’s those things also. And then I’m fighting all the time, I’m getting angry all the time, I’m isolating myself. That’s the big picture now. So are our companies, are our schools set up to make sure that what’s that next step? This person isn’t performing their job. This person isn’t coming to work. They’ve got a bad attitude. They’re absent all the time. Now, it could be the onset of a mental health disorder which then that means, do I have an employee assistance program in place? And this is why I love Be Nice because it’s that action plan that’s on me and on my screen, that is, that’s what I’m going to notice, those changes, making sure I’m aware, invite myself to reach out and have a conversation deeper now, beyond just thoughts and feelings.

0:05:49.2 LJJ: Hey, how are you today? Nope, it’s deeper.

0:05:52.5 CB: That frustration, I’ve noticed you’re frustrated every day. Probably, it was once in a while but right now, man, are you okay? Let’s sit down and talk. Then it’s like all of a sudden what you’ve brought to attention is, this has been going on for two weeks or longer. Now I really want to help you and did you know that help is available? That’s the big thing and that’s that next step that we want to make sure that people are set up to know where the resources are.

0:06:22.0 LJJ: So, when you go into corporations or schools, Christy, tell us a little bit about NICE because it’s Be Nice, but NICE is an acronym that is very actionable.

0:06:33.0 CB: Love it. Lynne, we look at it as a macro and then a micro. And a good friend of mine at Cascade Engineering, he defined it that way for me. The macro is how you are, Lynne. You live your life to be nice every day because you know it’s going to have an impact on someone. Every day, throwing out compliments, throwing out a smile, being nice can change a life and it can save a life. I’m truly a believer in just a simple concept and that is noticing the right, the good. Inviting myself to let someone know the right, the good, pointing out right, good every day. That can be challenging because especially in certain situations, that person is so vicious to me. How can I throw out compliments? You know what, I’m going to give it a try. I’m going to do it. I’m going to take that risk, I’m going to try it. Or maybe I don’t hardly know that person, but if I say hi in the grocery store line, are they going to think I’m bizarre and weird? No, I’m going to try it. And that’s empowering, it makes you feel really good.

0:07:33.0 CB: Now deeper at the micro-level, it means notice the good, the right, but notice the difference. Now suddenly, wow, I notice that clerk all the time that she’s so friendly and she says hi to everybody. Today, she’s not even making eye contact with the people that are going through her line. I’m noticing this, right? Maybe I’m going to go through her line instead and I’m going to go through and say, “Is everything okay? You usually are so bubbly.” I’m taking the time to invite myself to reach out. Going deeper, it could be with my spouse, with my best friend, with my co-worker. Lynne, you seriously… You have been late to work every day this week. What is going on? That is so unlike you. Now what I’ve done, I’ve noticed the good, the right, because Lynne never is late, but now I’m going deeper. I’m diving in to say, “This is what’s different about you and I’m worried about you.” Invite myself to have a conversation.

0:08:32.2 CB: Challenge that person to possibly get help and assistance. Are they aware that we have an EAP? Are they aware that there are resources out there? Are they aware that, you know what, I’m available? You know what? Every day this week, you and I are going to go take a walk every day at noon and hash this out, work through it. And then empower. Empower is huge because you’re showing that person that you care, you’re concerned, helping them to find these resources, helping them to find these protective factors, which can be friendships, services, utilizing services. Those are those really deep things that people might be in need of.

0:09:11.0 LJJ: Christy, we had a conversation probably about a year ago, maybe a year and a half already, if you can believe it, and it was when people were truly starting to think, “This is never going to end.” And now here we are a year later, this is never going to end. And the anxiety of feeling that way I think just chips away at the best of people, at the best of most positive individuals that are out there. I like the fact that you’re talking about reaching out and not being afraid to. And in the book that I’m reading, the one thing they said was, “You need to be okay with being afraid to go out, but still going out.”

0:09:55.8 CB: Yeah.

0:09:56.0 LJJ: And now talking, you mentioned it. Going out for a walk is a simple thing, but for someone who has been… Just feels like they’re frozen, that one little thing, even if it’s five minutes, could be a huge step in the right direction.

0:10:11.0 CB: Huge. Those are those conversations that we can have with people of, “How can I help you and make you feel more comfortable? What has helped you in the past?” That’s that invite stage of the Be Nice action plan and when I start to point out things like this, what helped you in the past when you may have felt like this, it’s also empowering them to look back and reflect back, “Wow. When I was feeling better, when I was less anxious, this is what I was doing for myself.” And so I love to be able to reflect back. And anybody can do this. You do not need to be a social worker or a clinician. You just get the language right. And that’s where a lot of people are afraid to ask for help and that’s why it’s really super important that those of us who have that positivity, have that feeling of optimism, let’s be the people for the folks that are struggling. So, if I’ve got that little bit of just me myself, because I struggle too, but you know what? For certain individuals right now, when I know what’s going on, I’m going to try to be the person with the cup half full.

0:11:24.7 CB: It was really funny, somebody sent me a comic strip again, Eeyore, Winnie-the-Pooh and all the gang and they were going to visit Eeyore because he hadn’t been out lately. So what can I be, where can I find that Pooh to go in and go to Eeyore’s place and just say, “Let me help you through this right now.” There’s real certain simple ways that we can help people too to find gratitude. It’s just an absolutely huge essential thing that we can try to concentrate every day. And so when I’m helping someone, it may be, “Hey, tell me what the best thing in your day was today.” “I didn’t have a good day at all.” “Okay. Just help me, just come up with one thing, one thing that happened today.” And working on recognizing just that one piece of gratitude… I had read a study at one time that… No, I went to a conference and it was about sleep and it said if you can go to bed writing down that one positive thing that happened that day, it actually can help a person sleep through the night because the last thought that they had was this positive thing, okay?

0:12:31.9 CB: So practicing gratitude, that’s kind of a combo of practicing optimism. Like this one good thing that happened to me today. I mean, these are just little things that we can put into place to help us through these anxious times, through these times that I might be feeling really down, real super negative.

0:12:52.2 LJJ: Well, and I love the fact that Christy, the West Michigan Mental Health Foundation is here to also connect those who may need some deeper assistance and help. And that is absolutely critical. So thank you so much for everything that you do. I know there’s a big event coming up, Consumers is very proud to partner with you on Shining Through. How can people get involved, whether it’s their time, talents or treasure, with Be Nice and the Mental Health Foundation.

0:13:18.6 CB: Thank you so much. So obviously, you can find us on Facebook, go online to benice.org. If you’re interested in attending the event, then there’s tickets online, obviously. But a bigger picture than that is why do we even fundraise? And we know that money raised by the Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan go into programs, ensuring that we are able to meet the demands of our community. And seriously, as we’re pushing nationally, we’re going to be present all over with Be Nice and the action plan.

0:13:53.5 CB: We’re in 165 schools right now across West Michigan, a dozen of those schools are actually East Lansing, and so we’ve got planning at schools. In addition, we go into faith communities, and if you know the plan, you know that it works anywhere, Lynne. The plan never changes. It always is, notice the good, the right, so I can notice the different. Invite myself to have a loving, caring conversation. Challenge the stigma, challenge someone with resources and empower someone through my love, my support and help, so that sticks the same. So, Shining Through in particular has been around for, I’m going to say probably 27 years, Lynne. And you were there 27 years ago, at the first Shining Through.

0:14:36.0 LJJ: Yeah, I believe that I was. Can you believe that? Holy cow.

0:14:40.4 CB: Lynne, you were. I used to run into you in the hallways when you would be going to your committee meetings and I’d giggle about it.

0:14:43.1 LJJ: We must’ve been 10 years old, Christy. I think we were 10 at that time, yeah.

0:14:47.6 CB: 10? 10? And volunteerism is huge too, at all ages. The show still is based on what it needs to be based on, and that is focusing on people’s abilities. And so oftentimes, with a mental health disorder, it can be disabling, but what is so cool is… Yes, at points it can be disabling, but people have abilities. So, these folks that are in our art show and auction haven’t happened to have artistic abilities, so the show has become juried. So, we select the best of the best pieces, the pieces that we think are going to bring in the most money, and in turn, give the artist back money, and so the artists get 51% of whatever their art sells for.

0:15:33.5 CB: So, they’re auctioned off, their pieces are. I want to read quickly through just a bio, “My name is Kate, I’m an artist from Kalamazoo. Art is just not a hobby, but it’s my passion. I’m grateful and excited to be one of the artists in this auction. I had bipolar disorder, while it can be a struggle and an issue when creating art, it has made me a stronger person. I was two semesters from graduating from Western Michigan University with a double major when mania set in. I never graduated, and it took a long time for me to come back to where I felt like creating art. These days, I take classes at Kalamazoo Art Institute, I’m a single mom to an almost 21-year-old son, I live with my mom who I consider my biggest supporter. She has been with me through the good and the bad, and so for her being part of this validates my artwork and makes me feel like a contributing member of our society.” What a bio.

0:16:30.2 LJJ: Are some of the art pieces online that we can see?

0:16:32.7 CB: You got it. They’re online, right when you open up benice.org, the two featured art pieces are highlighted, and oftentimes we have a hard time deciding on what art should be the featured, and it’s very competitive to be the featured artist because your art gets primary viewing. You’re on the timelines, you’re on the programs, so I think you’ll love the art, they’re really fun pieces. The theme is Feeling Good, and oftentimes, some of us are inspired by music so it was Michael Bublé’s song that inspired some of us to say, “Yeah, yeah. Those words are awesome. You know how it feels when I’m feeling good.” So, one of civic theaters most renowned actors, Michael Travis, is going to belt the song out right before the live action, so I think people…

0:17:25.2 LJJ: Oh, that’s awesome. Again, thank you for taking time to spend with us today. Such an important topic, and if anyone is interested, whether you run a company or you’re just interested in learning more about Be Nice, head on over to benice.org.

0:17:40.9 CB: Absolutely, and as always, thank you Consumers Credit Union, my choice for all my banking and loans, and that’s not just a plug. It’s a meaningful plug. They take care of me and my mental health.

0:17:54.8 LJJ: Thank you, Christy. Hey, thank you, Jake Esselink for your wonderful production skills today and everybody have a wonderful week and consider yourself a kind person. Be nice. Yeah, I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson. Money, I’m home with Consumers Credit Union.

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