11.27.22

Ep. 199: Sunday Scaries: Tips to relieve stress

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Consumers' podcast graphic with image of guest Christy Buck

 

On this episode of Money, I’m Home, Lynne is joined by Christy Buck, CEO of the Mental Health Foundation to discuss the Sunday Scaries, including how to cope with stress and anxiety.

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0:00:07.1 Lynne Jarman-Johnson (LJJ): Money, I’m Home, welcome in. I’m Lynne Jarman-Johnson with Consumers Credit Union. Thanks so much for being with us today. Joining us today, Christy Buck is with the Mental Health Foundation. She’s the CEO, the Executive Director, the big cheese there, Christy, and also of an organization that is well known around the country, and it’s called Be Nice. There’s really been this, I think, an uplift in conversations about people going back to work, and it’s Sunday night or Sunday morning, and they wake up and all of a sudden, anxiety starts to build. Christy, have you heard of Sunday Scaries and have you seen this in the workplace?

0:00:46.7 Christy Buck (CB): Yeah, and I don’t think it’s anything new. I think a lot more attention is on mental health and so those Sunday Scaries, you could turn that into really what it is, and it’s feelings of anxiety, and it’s that feeling of dread. And so, when we talk about anxiety now, we go right away to mental health and that is truly something that can have an effect on my mental health, is heading back to the office or going back to work on Monday. So, with the heightened talk about mental health, we’re going to talk about things like this. But it’s been around forever, Lynne, and we know this, the pit in your stomach before going back to school, the pit in the stomach about maybe a morning meeting I might have on a Monday, maybe I have a staff meeting. Now, with what’s going on with hybrid, with the feelings of being at home and working at home, yeah, feelings of angst can be more evident, more in our face.

0:01:44.9 LJJ: And when does it turn into something where you really need to start paying attention to what is happening in your body? This isn’t just an emotional thing that happens in your head. Physical worries can turn into breathing difficulties, can turn into long-term stress on your body.

0:02:03.3 CB: It sure can. And we like to gauge it with two weeks or longer, a marked change in my behavior. And it could transcend into more days of the week, suddenly. So, it’s not just Sunday, it is the dread of going back to work. And we definitely saw this when people were heading back to work. And so, for many of us who may have been home for the majority of our job throughout COVID, heading back, a lot of companies looked at having to transition back, “Okay, we’re going to have folks coming back three days a week.” And so, getting used to that, being around people again. But we like to gauge it. If my emotions, my actions, those things are affecting me for two weeks or longer, and that means going to work, and for kids, going to school, a change in my daily activities, I’m unable to go back to work and concentrate. I’m a different person heading back to work, and potentially how I engage in satisfying relationships. Those three things, marked changes in those three things for two weeks or longer, it could be the start of mental health struggles, mental health challenges. Now, if it’s every Sunday, and by Tuesday, I’m feeling better, that is something that I should work on over the weekend. I should be getting myself prepared, knowing that on Mondays, that day I’m going back to work, I’m going to be packed with my go-to resources.

0:03:38.4 LJJ: I love that, what you just said, “go-to resources.” What could those be? They’re different for every person, right?

0:03:44.5 CB: Right. And it’s… Potentially, I like making a list of what I’m looking at, what’s coming for the week. Having my calendar, however we keep track of things, have that there for myself. So, I am an old fashioned, old school girl, I have a paper calendar still. People laugh at me all the time. But I like to look at my own handwriting, I like to look at my schedule. Sometimes when I go to my Google Calendar, I’m looking at everybody else’s calendar, and I’m not looking at mine. So, I want to make sure that I have my own calendar at my hand. I also want to make sure that I’ve got my list of things to do for that Monday, so it’s not going to be so overwhelming to me that I know I can accomplish those tasks that I’m doing. I want to get enough sleep the night before on a Sunday night. I want to make sure that my sleep is going to be good. Because oftentimes, when sleep is interrupted, that can be also part of anxiety. You know, having that meditation in the morning, potentially on a Monday morning. Obviously, exercise is always great. And maybe that’s a great time to start off with a Monday morning routine of exercising. So, there’s several things and it’s different for everybody.

0:05:00.9 LJJ: Yeah, you mentioned meditation, I have an app called Breathe. It’s actually teaching me meditation. And so, there’s different ways, and some of them, I like, and some of them, I just… It’s not for me, which I think is the cool thing. But I think when you mentioned routine, to me, that is the key. It has to be routine for me to get myself going back into the workplace with a mindset of success and excitement versus feeling a little bit anxious.

0:05:27.1 CB: Yep, it’s putting things into perspective. So, I need to pay attention to myself and how I have to put things into perspective. And that is those realistic expectations of myself, trying to work on those resiliency and my coping skills, my go-to things. So, I think you nailed it, Lynne, about routine is key. And that’s something that we’ve always been talking about for years when I do parent presentations. It’s like knowing what is going on in your big schedule. So, I was part of a workshop this week with the Michigan Chamber of Commerce and I was a presenter. And we were talking about stress and anxiety. And one of the women that were part of our group, it was really cool, what she does for herself is, on her calendar, she also puts those family things that are going on for the week too. So don’t dismiss those realistic things that kind of moved into COVID, moving into our lives. Suddenly, I had things that became my routine of my kids’ things, that realistically, I got to say to myself, “I need to put those in my calendar.” And people need to acknowledge with each other in our work environments that we’re all super busy people. And we all have a lot of things going on, and let’s try to be open minded about those things. And I think that’s another thing that COVID brought about was being more accepting of each other and busy lives that might be happening at work and at home.

0:07:04.6 LJJ: I think that you are hitting the nail on the head, especially with parents who are raising kids right now. The concept of making sure that the kids also know what’s going on, that they feel in control of what is happening versus feeling out of sorts because there’s so many things on a calendar per se.

0:07:26.7 CB: Exactly. And what we saw also was, when we were working out of our houses, I didn’t potentially hesitate to make myself a hair appointment during the workday. And let’s be honest with each other, it was okay if I ran and did this. And I think as a CEO and executive director, I’m working on myself having less angst about what is the week to come, and keeping track of people. My job also has to be… I got to keep track of myself and being okay with that and trusting that the job is getting done, and being more flexible. I mean, that was a really tough thing for me. I look at my calendar and I would be looking at everybody else’s calendars. “Look at that person, where’s that?” No, I’m going to chill for a moment and be accepting and know that, “You know what? They’re looking at their emails potentially, clearing it out of things, getting ready for the next day.” I have to give myself a little bit of flexibility also.

0:08:37.6 LJJ: Yeah, I love the fact that there’s an article that talks about balance versus blending, and that balancing can really lead to, oh, you’re out of balance, and so you get anxious and you’re not feeling comfortable about your life. But blending gives you that openness to say, “Look, I have a very full, loved life and I am living it by balancing things.” Nope, blending them and being transparent with others about that.

0:09:09.2 CB: 100%. And sometimes, I’ll even start myself… I’m going to be totally transparent with y’all right now. I got a busy, super busy afternoon out of the office, and no judgment, just the honesty. And that’s one thing I do appreciate right now, is with being able to be flexible with hybrid schedules, is, just be honest, no judgment. And I think that that probably helps our work environment. When I knew that we were going to be talking about this, I went around to my team and gauged people, “Do you have these scary Sundays?” And we laughed, the new words out there. [laughter] And one said, “I’ve had them my whole life. I mean, I’ve always had that.” And even in school, it was that whole feeling that my weekend is ending. And I never thought about it that way. I never had that. I like to go to work. It doesn’t mean that somebody who has those doesn’t like to go to work, but probably it goes along with generalized anxiety, someone that does struggle with the illness called anxiety.

0:10:27.4 LJJ: It is an illness, isn’t it? It’s not…

0:10:27.9 CB: It is an illness.

0:10:31.6 LJJ: Yes.

0:10:32.1 CB: It can be a crippling illness that can come with, for kids, “What am I going to wear to school all week?” And these are serious things. And we need to look at anxiety, as it can be a serious mental health challenge, struggle, disorder.

0:10:47.8 LJJ: You know, Christy, I can’t let you go without talking about a program that you have. One of the things that you talk about, which if you’re listening and you own a business or you can bring this to your HR team, it’s really about being able to open the doors, transparency about mental illness and help and health in the workplace. Tell us about your program.

0:11:08.5 CB: It’s called Be Nice Business. You know, the Mental Health Foundation is the organization, Be Nice is our flagship program that comes with an action plan. So, prior to COVID, we decided as a team, we were getting called in to do lunch and learns. And it’s great when I can go into a company and do a 55-minute presentation while folks are eating their lunch, about mental health, mental health awareness, ultimately, Lynne, suicide prevention. And they were great. Suddenly, it turns into, “You guys, we got to do with… What we do with schools, we’re going to do with businesses.” So, in 2019, we started working on replicating that template of what we do in schools, we’re doing especially with high schools. So, all of a sudden, 2020, we’re working our butts off on this. And suddenly, we get into the pandemic. That’s what we did. We focused on creating that. So, for five months, we worked our booties off creating an amazing program for businesses. So now, we work with HR departments, we work with wellness teams and companies to bring about awareness with the Be Nice action plan.

0:12:18.9 CB: And that is noticing in each other, in my coworker, the good, the right, so I can notice the difference. When have those three things been impacted? Going to work, carrying out my daily activities, and engaging in satisfying relationships. And that, Lynne, is all about the return on investment. Employers want folks to come to work and want to be there. They want them to engage in relationships with our coworkers. They want job performance. Those are all your mental health. So, we know with going back to work, our mental health was affected. And our return on investments for companies, they were affected. So, we work on bringing awareness of, “How can I bring up job performance? How can I make this working life where employees want to be there, they want to work for me?” So, we have 90 companies on board. And we do the same thing we do with schools. You go in, you meet with the president of the company, you meet with the head of HR, whomever makes decisions, that person finds liaisons in their company to be the cheerleaders, kind of like what you and I, Lynne, would be in a company. I would totally be the liaison, because I would find that energy to bring about geeky activities, to help people to want to be there, focusing on the good, the right.

0:13:38.1 CB: But ultimately, in mind, the reason we’re doing that is so I can notice the difference in a co-worker and I can invite myself to talk to that person, “Hey, what’s going on? When you come to work, you’re not the person to come in that typically makes the coffee. Is everything going on at home? Is it okay?” And suddenly, it’s like, “No, I’ve got stuff going on with my kids. I got to tell you, my mom is sicker than a dog. We’re seeing Alzheimer’s, the beginning stages.” Those are great conversations that we shouldn’t fear to have. And suddenly, it transcends into the work atmosphere of, “We’re okay talking about this.” We’re proud of the partnerships we have right now, and hopefully, whoever’s listening today will give us a ring, benice.org. Go to the info area and say, “I listened to Christy, we want to talk to you about this program.”

0:14:33.7 LJJ: Well, Christy, you have truly changed lives for the better, not only in Michigan, but across the country. Cannot thank you enough for your time today. Dear friend, but also just a wonderful resource in our community to help you if you have a mental illness challenge that you’re facing, and/or you just want to open the doors for conversation. Christy, thank you so much.

0:14:55.0 CB: Thanks, Lynne.

0:14:56.3 LJJ: Hey, everybody. Thank you for listening. And if you have a topic you’d like, just send it our way. Thank you, Jake Esselink, for your production skills. I hope everybody has a safe, healthy week.

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